“Enjoy your holiday! You deserve it!”
No. I don’t.
“Are you looking forward to a well-deserved break?”
No. I’m not.
I don’t doubt for a second the good intent of people who talk about holidays – or other perks – in these terms. They want to be encouraging, to indirectly say that they think I have worked hard.
But I find the linguistic convention around “you deserve” annoying. Frustrating, even.
It’s representative of a world view that I’m completely divorced from. A view that says “do good things, and good things will happen to you” or “just work hard and you will be happy and successful” …i.e. a meritocracy in which the actions of each individual determines their exact future.
I don’t subscribe, for two reasons:
1) Injustice and deep-rooted inequalities are visible for all to see. The fact I received the full complement of vaccines as a child is due to the happenstance of being born in a country with a robust health system. The fact that I completed an undergraduate degree is primarily because my parents were wealthy enough to pay for a good education and were caring enough to encourage me to make an effort with school work. These are just two examples of privileges that I did little or nothing to influence or deserve.
2) I believe in GRACE. The concept is central to my Christian faith. I’m convinced that God loves and accepts me not because of anything I do, but simply because he has chosen to do so. I’m utterly undeserving of this. The concept extends beyond notions of salvation and into daily life. I’m not entitled to a stable job, to good relationships with family and friends, or to peace and security. Where and when these happen, I appreciate and celebrate them! …but that’s quite different to believing that I’m somehow worthy of them.
We touched on it, just there.
Entitlement.
This is the main risk that stems from a meritocratic world view. “It’s not fair, I didn’t deserve this,” or “I’m doing x so I’m entitled to y.” When confronted with the harsh reality of things not working out as planned, cracks quickly appear. “I’m a good person. How could this happen to me?”
So, we need to live by grace: to see good things as gifts, and to appreciate that bad things can teach us a lot, too.
Yes, I’ve worked hard. Yes, it’s been tough and I’m ready to take a holiday, to rest up and feel refreshed. But no, I don’t deserve it at all.